It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
