I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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