Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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