its not stalking. its research.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
