thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
