why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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