Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
