I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize
