I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
