Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
