you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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