So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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