I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
