im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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