Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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