Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
