So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
then he tried to convert me to islam
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize