you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
