I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
