You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
nut hugger
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
