Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
