Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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