Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
