I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
