watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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