Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
