I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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