OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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