Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
