you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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