Tell her she can't have a vagina
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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