Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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