Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
