There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
