Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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