We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
