We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
