Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
