It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
