We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
