Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize