Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
