I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
