I'm drive I can fine osifer
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
