walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
