things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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