I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
