Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
