Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
