hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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