Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
