The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
