a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize