im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
