Can i not drive my cunt home
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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