During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
