I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
