he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
