Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm sobbing to NWA
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
