either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
