whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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