I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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