TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
