i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Someone signed my nipple.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
