Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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