Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So vagazzling was a success
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
