in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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