Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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