I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
