I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
