Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
