yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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