i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
