I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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