I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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